Trigger warning: Abuse, Rape.
Irritated tonight. Tried to reconnect with old friends, only to find that they’ve all either gotten married or whatever and I wasn’t invited or even informed. But the douchebag who beat and raped me and made my life miserable? He’s totally on the guest list.
I can’t even explain to them how much this upsets me. It’s always “well, we were friends with him first” or “yes, but don’t you think you should be over it by now?”
I’m sorry, but if I found out someone I was friends with was an abuser and rapist, I couldn’t be friends with them anymore. And it is not just something that one “gets over,” particularly when it results in PTSD. There is not cure for PTSD, one just learns to manage it better.
What it all boils down to is that they don’t believe me when I tell them what happened. After all, he tells people all the fucking time how he’d never hit anyone ever again, which is why he got that stupid fucking tattoo to “remind him.” And I’m obviously just causing trouble with him because I was abused by my father and I’m projecting it onto him.
Even with this recent breakup, they’ve shown more sympathy towards Devin than they ever showed me. As if they feel sorry for what I’ve done to him by breaking up with him. Not one of them approached me and asked if I was alright.
And if you fucks somehow managed to find this to read it, just remember: you weren’t there when he held me down on the floor of his mother’s computer room while he finished himself off, leaving me there undressed as I cried and he went out for the night. None of you were there when he slapped me across the face or twisted my arm behind my back because I said something he didn’t like to hear (except his mother, who told me to stop provoking him, but that’s another story).
And despite how rightful my anger is at you all, I hope none of you have to experience the hell I went through. I hope you all have happy and successful lives. Just keep them the fuck away from me because I reject you as thoroughly as you’ve all rejected me.
February 28th, 2012 4 notes #Personal #tw: rape #tw: abuse
